Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
