Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
