So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
