wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
