She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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