How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
