I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
