just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
