we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
