call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
