New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My feet surprised me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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