What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
