Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm both gender and math confused
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
