my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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