i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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