So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize