hell yes lets make some ravioli
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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