For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
