This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize