New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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