I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come you make the beer taste better
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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