Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
