I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
