ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize