My sheets look like a crime scene.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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