i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
