Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
