I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I touched a dick in church today
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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