They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
