I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
