So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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