Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize