Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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