i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
