I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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