he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize