No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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