just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
