Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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