What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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