..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
