hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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