apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
