Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
