Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
