Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
