what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize