i think my tv is drunk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
