we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
