Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

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  (314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj
  Replies (17) Good night (420) Bad night (3181)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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  (316): Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair http://tfl.nu/yhl2
  Replies (20) Good night (545) Bad night (3884) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result

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  (480): ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result http://tfl.nu/ejuh
  Replies (25) Good night (527) Bad night (3322) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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  (617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5
  Replies (29) Good night (1756) Bad night (7078) Order T-Shirt
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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  (876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv
  Replies (32) Good night (8263) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.

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  (815): drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me. http://tfl.nu/k6i1
  Replies (4) Good night (3804) Bad night (836)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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  (216): ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time. http://tfl.nu/5061
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (4022) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3632) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'

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  (804): i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better' http://tfl.nu/bjkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1794) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend

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  (775): she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend http://tfl.nu/wdj0
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (1938) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love

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  (712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/bjop
  Replies (23) Good night (4387) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..

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  (270): You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it.. http://tfl.nu/hsv3
  Replies (2) Good night (1704) Bad night (457)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

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  (678): I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex. http://tfl.nu/mbc3
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...

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  (702): She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her... http://tfl.nu/8w76
  Replies (6) Good night (413) Bad night (866)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (566) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt

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