Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?