Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he's gonorrhea incarnate
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.