Quick, to the slutcave!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
did you just send me my own nude