I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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