she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
