from now on my penis is your penis
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
