this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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