I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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