I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
