I don't think brook has ever known best
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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