There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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