i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
