I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
