Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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