Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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