New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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