my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
