They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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