Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
