So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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