Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
