if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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